rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize