So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
