I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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