I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
