then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
