I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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