i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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