What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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