he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
