at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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