just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
