We named our party play list daddy issues
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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