I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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