Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize