Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
