I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
