Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
