so let's talk penis.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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