Sry I called you an 8
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
