Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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