The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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