no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize