: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
