i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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