I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How's work?
Spinning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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