i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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