This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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