So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
