well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
