There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
