I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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