he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
