I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
