Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You pole danced in your parka.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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