I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
