The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
