Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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