watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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