anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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