This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got inside last night via doggy door
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