Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Couch. On fire.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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