I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
