She announced her abortion via fbk
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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