Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
