Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
