Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
