My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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