I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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