literally had 100 drinks last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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