ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
