Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
