i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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