First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
