Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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