I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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