Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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