We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize