first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize