Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize