and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
