Buhtt sex?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
