there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
