And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
