your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
