don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
