no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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